Why lie?
People who lie do so because they are afraid to tell the truth. There is no difference between an adult and a little kid in this regard. They both think they are going to get into trouble.
The older person probably started off using this strategy as a child and never grew out of it. It was so much easier to deal with a hostile authority figure asking why you didn’t do your homework. “I did, but the dog ate it.”
As an adult, your spouse asks you why you ate the bag of cookies. “I didn’t”, you say. “The dog ate it.” Poor dog. Why didn’t you just take responsibility and say that you did it? Go buy another bag of cookies.
Why do people get mad at you when you lie? Because you’re acting like a naughty child, when you should have grown up already. Why do people get mad at you and blame you when they get caught lying? Because they feel stupid about looking so pathetic.
Everybody lies for various reasons. We don’t want to hurt other people’s feelings, we want to look more successful than we really are, we have something we don’t want others to know about us. Another reason is that we are up to something nefarious and we don’t want to admit it to our victims. Even denial is lying. Something is so painful that you don’t want to admit its existence.
Don’t give yourself a pass for harmless or harmful lies. You need to have the respect of yourself and others in mind. If you lie you degrade yourself and insult the intelligence of the other person. The more you lie, the lower you go on the trust scale.
How about the people who weaponize lies and deception to destroy lives?
When your life is based on lies and deception, you have serious psycho/spiritual issues. You are considered by many to be beyond repair; called a psychopath, sociopath or a narcissist. Although you may be salvageable, it will take a huge amount of work to recover. If you are doing something you know is wrong, you have to break from it, no matter what the cost.
We have so many examples of corrupt people doing wicked things and using lies and deception to try to cover it up. No matter how you look at it, this is an entirely different level than simple lies that are just meant to protect yourself or others.
Using people as disposable pawns for political, military, business and personal reasons may make you feel like you are getting ahead or that your objectives are being met, but really, you’ll be in the process of creating negative karma and destroying your life.
Notice how people like that are always paranoid? How they hyper-focus on protecting themselves and their money? How they have to continuously prop up their self esteem with credentials and awards? How they have to justify their actions? If they don’t trust themselves, how can they trust the world around them? . They have no peace of mind.
How do you become such a despised person? Evil doesn’t start off big. One drop of water at a time adds up to a bucketful after a period of time. You don’t even notice it until it’s too late. So just do the opposite and your life will be meaningful. Don’t go along with things when you know they’re wrong.
A few tips on how to pursue the truth
If you are tired of living like that, there is a way out, believe it or not. Just stop lying. Stop deceiving. One small step at a time. It may be hard, but it’s worth the effort. Make some strategies for telling the truth. When someone asks you a question, don’t answer right away because your default is to lie or mislead. Wait and then formulate an answer that is truthful.
If you are embarrassed about something and someone asks you about it, you are not required to give an answer, so just say you don’t feel like answering. It saves you from having to spin an answer to take you off the hook. You don’t have to tell everything about your life to everyone.
And be up front with people in your life. Don’t sneak around. If you are in relationship and it’s not working for you, be honest about it. Maybe you can work it out, and if not go separate ways with dignity.
If you are a journalist or politician who has to spin stories that are untruthful, fight for the truth even if it costs you the trappings of success. The paycheck and esteem aren’t worth the degradation to your spirit. But you may be surprised that if you act honorably, people will fight for you and you won’t have to give anything up.
You don’t need to be manipulative at work. You can have principles and still make a living. Co-workers and clients want to know where they stand with you. You need to be trustworthy in order to function properly. And don’t tell white lies to make someone feel better. You can avoid answering questions or tell them the truth tactfully.
If you tell lies to make yourself look better, fight that temptation. In the privacy of your own mind, admit when you are lying to others and notice how demeaning it is. You actually give a person power over you by going through the all that fakery to impress them. It could really be humiliating for you if the person discovers you’re making up stories.
Stop that. Keep your power. Ask yourself why you are making a fool of yourself again. Analyze and then commit to changing that behavior.
Admit when you lie to others as well. For instance, if someone asks you if you took out the garbage and you said you did, but the garbage is still in the house, realize that you were probably reverting to your childhood. Admit to the other person what you did and just take out the garbage. You both might laugh about your childish behavior.
But don’t explain, don’t do the lie to cover up your first lie. The excuse or rationalization for the lie is a ticking time bomb. People don’t like to be lied to twice, especially the second lie, because of its premeditated nature which is an affront to the dignity of the receiver of second lie.
Destructive Liars and Deceivers
The people who are targeted by the zealous fibbers and hoaxers need to protect themselves by being genuine but not naive. You have to have your truth antenna up all the time. Pay attention to what people say and do. Remember that those who fabricate and distort are experts at it and you have to use your brain and intuition to steer clear of them or they”ll cause problems for you.
Have you ever heard: “You can trust me” or “I have integrity” or “I would never screw you over” ? If they are not a close friend already and they’re saying those things, look out. In the future you will find out these were just words to disarm you.
Other things to be aware of: They’ll ingratiate themselves to you and use flattery to make you feel important. They’re nice to other people to their face and then back stab them later. What do you think they’ll do to you? If you catch them doing something underhanded, they will try to convince you that they’re sorry, when they really aren’t. They may get angry at you because you didn’t buy their story. And they can act really nice until they don’t get their way.
You’ll notice they have fragile egos. If you oppose them in any way or expose their character, they will go off the rails and stop at nothing to tarnish your reputation. This is nothing to worry about though, because the people who know you, won’t believe it anyway.
The only damage they can do to you is if you accept their attack as being justified. Maybe you feel that you did something wrong, accepting your victim hood.
Remember that because they are corrupt, no matter what you do, you won’t be able to lift them up, but instead they will pull you down. The only way for them to get better is for them to change their attitude and behavior. You can’t help with that. It’s their choice.
Comments are closed, but trackbacks and pingbacks are open.